I had a really difficult start to breastfeeding and there were so many times that I thought I was gonna have to give it up. I spent an extra day in the hospital when my son was first born due to many feeding issues, he had a good latch yet my breasts were covered in bruises and bleeding and I suffered from a massive swelling in my arm pit due to blocked milk ducts, after seeing multiple midwives, two doctors and a breastfeeding specialist, I was finally given nipple shields, which I thought would be the fix for everything. After a week of being home and many visits and phone calls from more breastfeeding specialists, I felt confident that everything was finally solved but then I had to face the issue that I just wasn't producing enough milk for my son and he wasn't gaining any weight. I spent the second week barely sleeping due to almost constant feeding and pumping, neither of which seemed to help much though. By the third week I was exhausted and felt like a failure and after lots of thought and discussion about my sons weight and health and the pressure this was putting on me, I had to make the heart breaking decision to both formula feed and breastfeed. I know that formula is fine for my son and that this was the best decision, at least until my milk supply increases but I still felt like such a failure when I gave him that first bottle. I am so thankful for the breast feeding specialists and there support and reassurance because if it wasn't for them, I would have probably felt worse for a lot longer. My son is now six weeks and we still have a long way to go with breastfeeding but I already feel like Its been such a massive and eventful journey already.